Funny Definitions

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower
is defeated by feminine waterpower

Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without
passing through 'the minds of either

Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Dictionary
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father
A banker provided by nature.

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc…
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.